From the beginning, Try Avoidance posts have usually been about things going on. Film production notes, vacation logs, etc. Very rarely do they stray into Josh's current mental state territory. Somehow it seems there is a lot going on lately, but very little of it has been posted. Mostly because the big project Wildlifeless has had some air of secrecy around it from the very beginning. Like it's too big and important to talk about and needs to be under wraps until it's absolutely done and ready to premiere at some big film festival. Either way, this blog is crying out for a post (Jeremy has forgotten how to count backwards), so here goes.

Right now, I'm absolutely overwhelmed. I've been like this before. There is so much to do, that it paralyzes me, and I can do absolutely nothing. I've got a clear picture of what needs to be done: promote and release NMWG's sophomore album, finish the audio for Wildlifeless, start the audio for Days of Being Wrinkle Free, do another edit pass on Tim Nm, work on an MOC DVD release, etc., etc. TMINM/12 Bros. recordings. Ha! Yet, I sit down in front of the computer so intimidated by it all that I end up just playing Conquer Club (used to be TipTop, but now on to CC). It's a sad and depressing cycle. It's joyless.

Now it's getting to the end of the year, and I look back and it doesn't feel like I've accomplished much. I'm sure I could dig around and show how I've at least made progress on things, but it seems like a lost year to me. I still can't believe I sat on NMWG's album all year. That's not only sad, but a real let down to people that depend on me. Just when they really settled in to a local touring routine and are selling CD's like never before, I can't even get the new product out the door.

Add to this that I'm in a new job and don't have any vacation time around the holidays for the first time in a long time, and I basically feel trapped. I need to get away and clear my head for a while. If I could get over some of these hurdles, things would really turn around. Once the NMWG album hits the streets, I know it's going to take off, and that'll be a real boon for the label (though it's probably too late for it to make a big dent and take 2006 into the realms of profit, unfortunately, though 2007 should be good). Wildlifeless is going to make a big splash on the festivals and Matter of Chance will really be on the map in 2007. Wrinkle Free and Tim Nm, though I don't think they have a big market, would be sentimental and artistic achievements for me at least.

There's a lot of fun ahead. I have fun just thinking about making White Bread and Filmic. It makes me happy. Thinking about those films seems more like thinking back on a good experience than anything else. Sierra Maestra seems like the right film at the right time. If all goes to plan, we'll finally take Brock on the big cross-country road trip to Boston next Fall. That should be a trip to rival the Winter 04/05 trip where so many adventures in filmmaking and music were hatched. To get to all that, I have to get through my current drudgery.

Man, I feel like if I start one new paragraph I could start ten of them. It's all empty complaining, though. I actually updated the MOC and 727 web sites last night. More work tonight. I might be getting on a roll or sorts.