2005-06-25

Anti-"And" "But" Domination

Just in case you think that my mind has wandered away from 12 Brothers: I just figured out how to fix a controversial line in Business. Here's what I had posted so long ago:

our father used to say
"the customer's right always
so stay open late
and make sure you get paid"


Joshua saw an issue with painting the father in a somewhat negative light by adding the "and make sure you get paid" part. Almost like it made him too greedy. Personally, that wasn't an issue for me. The man runs a business; of course he wants to get paid. Regardless, the father has both positives and negatives to him, just like any normal person.

Despite the lack of resonance with Joshua's argument, however, this line still bothered. Finally, while driving along and listening to the Business demo on my iPod, I realized what the problem is. The word "and." It doesn't work. The "serving of the customer" and the "get your money" pieces don't tie together neatly with an "and." I have the solution!


What it needs is a big "but." That's right. While you should do everything you can to make your customer happy, in the end it all comes down to the dollar. I know this paints the father in an even more unfavorable light, but I'm OK with that. By simply switching an "and" with a "but" great weight is added to this verse. Thus:

our father used to say
"the customer's right always
so stay open late
but make sure you get paid"

And Joshua did just so.

4 comments:

Joshua Provost said...

That's an awful lot of sensationalism considering you changed one word.

Jeremy said...

Not sure what possessed me but I was looking back over the 39 Best Moon Is No More Songs and came across this.

Best. Post. Ever.

Joshua Provost said...

Like I said the first time... "sensationalism"

Jeremy said...

It sure was sensational.