I Still Don't Believe

The Boston Red Sox won the Major League Baseball World Series last night... or so they would have you believe.

My first exposure to baseball was the 1986 World Series and Bill Buckner's gaffe. I am shaped from the start by haunting memories of tragic failure. I am not unique in this; it is how generation upon generation of New England youth came up.

That is how, during game 7 of the ALCS against the Yankees, I sat quiet and motionless as the Red Sox won, without celebration. And again, how I was silent and frozen last night during game 4 of the World Series, as the Red Sox completed a sweep of the St. Louis Cardinals. I just couldn't get excited about it.

It was great to see fans parading around carrying "We Forgive Bill Buckner" banners. It was, in a way, a victory that made all those tragedies seem OK. So, why can't I fully enjoy it? Becaused I still feel that somehow, someway, the Red Sox will find a way to blow this one.

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