Biznits 51

Wow! A post from Jeremy. It's a miracle!

I have been meaning to post for quite some time about the Yanco, William, Officer EP that I have mentioned in the past. I did go on a mini-creative spurt and wrote some lyrics for different songs here and there, but nothing too substantial. I was hoping to post what I had and get some feedback and make this EP a bit more of a collaborative project. However, I've been really busy and at the present time I'm sidetracked by The Moon Is No More shows that we've been playing.

I'm sure Joshua will discuss it further within his daily post, but we did some more practice this evening. Unfortunately, I had to leave after only about 1-2 songs playing with Carl (he showed up later). At least Micah, Joshua, and myself got through most of the Zeitgeist setlist together and things are sounding pretty good. As I've mentioned, I have a pretty good feeling about this show. I'm ready to show a little more emotion in my stage presence and having the extra time to practice these songs is going to pay off.

Anyway, one of my greatest desires when it came to these shows was to play something from the 12 Brothers EP. Strange, because although the lyrics have been written there really hasn't been any work done on these songs as far as music goes ... except for one little tidbit. Joshua had sent me a 30 second audio clip of him playing a guitar riff and singing one verse of a song called "Business." This little thing really got me hooked. It was very catchy. And so I played that little clip over and over again, loving it more each time I heard it. I felt there was enough there to fully flesh out the song once Joshua got here and then play it at the Zeitgeist show.

Boy was I wrong.

And yet, we will indeed play it. It is replacing "A Common Path To A Common Problem," an absolute train wreck of a song, on the setlist.

Although Joshua came up with an outstanding melody, it didn't really fit any of the other verses that I'd written. That's typically how I write. I have no knowledge of this thing they call melody. I just write the words and hope that Joshua can somehow fit them in.

There was also no chorus to speak of, and this particular song was really crying out for a chorus. On 12 Brothers, neither the song before it, "Inheritance," nor the song that would follow it, "Sunsets," has a chorus. Thus, "Business" really needed one to draw in the average listener to 12 Brothers.

While practicing today, Joshua, Micah, and Carl were jamming out to "Business" for quite some time, allowing me to concoct freestyle lyrics in my head and test them out against the melody that had been developed. Even after I got home from practice my mind kept racing with possibilities. Desperately, I searched for a blank sheet of paper in order to spew forth my latest masterpiece. Call it 12 Brothers United By Micah, if you will. Of course, this entire week could really be called The Moon Is No More United By Micah.

So, without further ado, I give you "Business" (remastered):

our mothers used to say
"you must stick together always
and never divide
and never seperate"

our fathers used to say
"you must do what's right always
the course you must stay
and never deviate"

it's just business on the shelf
it's just business between us twelve

our father used to say
"the customer's right always
so stay open late
and make sure you get paid"

why can't you do what i say
you know our father would want it that way
we must work it out
there is no reason to shout

it's just business on the shelf
it's just business between us twelve

why did you sell me out
now father says i am not alive
i hate this feeling
i know i'm justified


Brock said...

Interesting commentary on the development of a song. I think the lyrics you put together are snappy and interesting. They make me interested to hear them within the context of the song. It's really cool to hear that you guys aren't just playing shows, but also putting together new material.

Brock said...

Man, I swear I didn't mean to use "interesting" so much in that last post.

Joshua Provost said...

A post by Jeremy is oh, so refreshing. It looks like a good refinement of the original lyrics. Way to fit them in to the melodic structure!

Jeremy said...

Hmmm, speaking of interesting. While poking around and inserting my new lyrics into the now famous "12 Brothers.txt" file I noticed that I had indeed written a chorus for this song after all.

all is fair in love and war
and between brothers
in the family store
That chorus is probably catchier. Not sure how it would fit into the current structure of the song, though, and I'm not sure if I like it or hate it. Any thoughts?

Joshua Provost said...

No more changes. And even so you should drop the "and" before between brothers.

Brock said...

The stuff you've come up with sounds pretty good.

Jeremy said...

OK. We stick with what we have. No more changes.